You divorced your Wife, NOT your children
The most difficult and painful legacy of a divorce can be the horrible, terrible situation when a father loses his children, through no fault of his own. There are too many situations where mothers refuse to permit visitation, deliberately replace Dad with boyfriend or new husband, or flat out lie to the child, to turn the child against Dad and alienate the relationship. Too many times, mom refuses to send school or sports schedules, band concerts, parent-teacher conference times, so that Dad - who sees his kids 2 weekends a month, if he's one of the fortunate ones - is unable to share the common experiences that form the basis of relationships.
When a parent refuses to let Dad see his kids, refuses to let him know what is going on their lives, and turns their hearts against him - what's the difference between that, and telling him his kids are dead? Well, the child support goes on, of course.
Too often, judges, psychologists, custody evaluators, and lawyers fail to realize that the denial of visitation is the equivalent of killing Dad's children. Too often, these "professionals" think the request to force visitation is just a power struggle between Mom and Dad, instead of Dad's desparate effort to maintain his relationships and love for his children. And far, far too often, these "professionals" buy into Mom's excuses of "the kids don't want to see Dad," "he's not a real father," "he's only doing this to pay less child support" - blah, blah, blah.
Courts need to aggressively and consistently enforce visitation schedules, access to school and medical records, and liberal and unrestricted phone and email contact. The so-called professionals and experts need to PRESUME that regular and quality contact between Dad and his kids IS in the child's best interests - and that it will take a HUGE amount of evidence to overcome this.
Until this happens, children of divorced parents will grow up thinking that fathers are irrelevant to children's lives - that they come second to soccer practice, birthdays, and almost everything else - that they are just wallets that pay child support. What kind of relationships are THESE children going to have when THEY grow up? One of the hot topics today is "Why do men fear commitment?" It should be "Why didn't mothers of grown men who fear commitment do a better job of keeping these boys in touch with their FATHERS?"
Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father: a manual for Fathers to aggressively and assertively present their issues in family court.
Start Your Life NOW!: a portal site for EXCELLENCE in Business - Fitness - Personal - Spiritual - Family.
When a parent refuses to let Dad see his kids, refuses to let him know what is going on their lives, and turns their hearts against him - what's the difference between that, and telling him his kids are dead? Well, the child support goes on, of course.
Too often, judges, psychologists, custody evaluators, and lawyers fail to realize that the denial of visitation is the equivalent of killing Dad's children. Too often, these "professionals" think the request to force visitation is just a power struggle between Mom and Dad, instead of Dad's desparate effort to maintain his relationships and love for his children. And far, far too often, these "professionals" buy into Mom's excuses of "the kids don't want to see Dad," "he's not a real father," "he's only doing this to pay less child support" - blah, blah, blah.
Courts need to aggressively and consistently enforce visitation schedules, access to school and medical records, and liberal and unrestricted phone and email contact. The so-called professionals and experts need to PRESUME that regular and quality contact between Dad and his kids IS in the child's best interests - and that it will take a HUGE amount of evidence to overcome this.
Until this happens, children of divorced parents will grow up thinking that fathers are irrelevant to children's lives - that they come second to soccer practice, birthdays, and almost everything else - that they are just wallets that pay child support. What kind of relationships are THESE children going to have when THEY grow up? One of the hot topics today is "Why do men fear commitment?" It should be "Why didn't mothers of grown men who fear commitment do a better job of keeping these boys in touch with their FATHERS?"
Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father: a manual for Fathers to aggressively and assertively present their issues in family court.
Start Your Life NOW!: a portal site for EXCELLENCE in Business - Fitness - Personal - Spiritual - Family.
posted by Rick C at
5:40 PM
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